concerns.. sort of rambling concerns

well I'll be completely honest.. I'm terrible at blogging haha, but I'm working on it! It will come with time I'm sure. It's hard to do it regularly.. which is why this is my first one in two weeks!

So here I am laying in bed, listening to some Mineral, and doing some thinking. I have come to the realization that I really don't care about much of anything these days.. I don't say that in a negative way, it's just something I realized. Also, I've really been finding out that I'm really scared of what kind of person I'll be in the future. Has anybody else ever worried about being the person who wakes up one morning and suddenly realizes that they don't like who they've become? I'm going to be completely honest, it scares me so hard.. 

I see things that I do and the way I handle some things and worry that one day I'll be somebody who is out of hand and out of reach, somebody who is so stuck in his ways and so stubborn that nobody can reach me. I am terrified at the thought of becoming someone I don't want to be. I know that I'll never stop trying, but I'm just so scared that I'm too weak to make the changes I need to! I'm stoked to see what God has in store for me.. I'm just scared of the possibility of me messing it up! haha

I don't really know where I'm going with this.. I guess I'm just putting this out there in hopes that somebody can give me some insight!

The First Blog

Well, hello there!

This, as you can see, is my first blog! I'm not real sure of what the content of my blog should be.. serious, joking, informative, relaxed.. my oh my, the options are endless! Well, I guess I'll just tackle that sheep when it rears its ugly head and tries to bahhhh at me.

ahh I kid, I kid! hahaha

On a more serious note though, I'm really super stoked on the way God has been moving in my life and the lives of the friends and family that God has surrounded me with. We have been having a dudes bible study/time of worship/fellowship/accountability/prayer night/open speaking(haha) every Monday night at The Barn and it has really been helping me along! It's just an all around fun time with guys who are just there to encounter God in a real and true way, and to talk with the guys about stuff that is weighing on our hearts (no topic is off limits)!!

God has really been revealing some awesome stuff!

We've been talking about how, many times when we go to church we're looking for an emotional encounter so hard that we sometimes forget to look for a REAL encounter with God! Alot of times I tell myself, "If I'm not in tears at some point during the service then I'm not having a true encounter with God," I think that's a really dangerous place to be at! When you say that, it puts you in a sketchy position and is just setting you up for possible disappointment.. I know myself I've done that alot, I'd get bummed out when I didn't experience this "emotional high" during worship or I didn't start crying when the preacher hit a really moving point in his sermon! 

I'm not, in any way, saying that getting emotional during a service is a bad thing.. heck, I'm honestly a big baby, I cry about anything like that! I'm just saying, it's definitely not a good thing to replace your pursuit of encountering the presence of God with the pursuit of an emotional experience! God is always faithful to meet us where we are, but I believe that he moves in different ways! There is a time for weeping, but there is also a time for rejoicing!

So.. GET STOKED!!! haha God is a great God and there is much to be happy over!

anywho.. I guess I'm reaching the point of ranting now, so I will now end my first blog! 

many blessings and much love.

-gabe